really going now.
11:54:00 AM

 
hm. a bit tired now. could go home. bet when i do, i won't be able to get to sleep :P
11:02:00 AM

 
nb. also, haven't been going out at ALL. am going to be missing two good parties this weekend. and although i'm going to a wedding on Thursday, and will pop in at the reception too, I really won't be able to enjoy it :-(

-sigh-
still so much to do.
10:34:00 AM

 
well. one week to go. i just told lynn that i was too stressed to blog. but apparently i lied. or maybe i've just made a huge personal step and overcome that obstacle to being a fully empowered person. or maybe i'm sleep deprived. yeah, it's only 01:30, but was totally insomniate last night, thinking:tossing:turning till 3am, and then waking up again at 5am for no good reason, then up early (well 07:30, early for me) for a meeting. and haven't been sleeping well lately in general. think it's mostly stress, but might also be caffeine (have been having one almost every day, and sometimes a cup of tea too!). blargh. so yeah, anyway, point of that is, maybe i'm too tired to be too stressed to blog.

anyway, really just wanted to whinge here. bloody illustrator. it's SOOO slow with my plots, and they get saved ridiculously large, and then it turns itself off when I ask too much of it - although really, that's probably better than the alternative (crashing my machine).

also wanted to praise the local uni radio station for putting some listenable electronica on - previously there was heavy metal on both youth stations, and i had to momentarily resort to commercial radio!

also. just looking at last entry, the date the supervisor told ME he was leaving, is different from the date he told someone else he was leaving, and different again from what he said at the meeting this morning! c'est tres suspicious...

anyway, it's been noted that i didn't confirm actual D(AMNATION) DAY date. It's now set for one week from today. Oh boy.

10:32:00 AM

 
heh. supervisor also mentioned actual date he's leaving for first time ever. is quite early.
1:34:00 AM

 
oh. my. god.

wel last week, i got a call from seminar organiser/secretary type, saying i might have to postpone my talk a week, due to some bigwig being around and maybe wanting to give a talk when i was scheduled to. paranoid thoughts intruded: "is this for real? could it be the cover story for some more sinister motive? possibly from The Corner Office?" an extra week might have been nice, and i was unsure whether to try and keep my original date, esp, as I *had* organized some other stuff around it (eg. submitting some paper revisions, friend visiting, etc.) but NOW i just had a visit from the supervisor saying it might actually be a week EARLIER than scheduled! *shiver* i don't know about this. "two weeks? um. mommy?"
1:34:00 AM

 
hrm. my email not working today. disconcerting.
10:28:00 PM

 
(nota bene: drain thing so wasn't our drains, Water Corp came and cleared out a main drain last week, so all better now)

Anyway. Came in heaps on weekend. But got so little done. Despite lack of scrabble.

Only went out for a couple of hours Sat night (friend dj'ing in Freo), had a bit of a dance.

Nothing else to report. Life currently on hold.
9:19:00 PM

 
blah blah blah . i have a neck ache. but very mild.

damn, was in total fear panic work mode on weekend, but is over now. back to the usual procrastinating... (mostly).
7:43:00 AM

 
also. have finally started the S Brust series with the Taltos Trilogy _Jhereg_, _Yendi_, and _Teckla_. Yeah, is okay.
2:19:00 AM

 
blargh. I really meant to come back into work last night, after going home for dinner, but spent 2 hours clearing blocked drains instead.
2:13:00 AM

 
Must keep reminding myself: "it's all in the attitude".

OK, maybe not ALL, but I seriously think, if you have the right attitude in the Thing (can't bring myself to type it), you can probably escape utter ignominy. Need to practice attitude. Positive, happy, enthusiastic, open. Internally combusted.
10:40:00 PM

 
ok priorities though. suspect main purpose of this blog will become as a venting avenue for stress. so yesterday, started actual presentation. realized how much i have to do to fill in gaps. oh boy. oh fuck even. AND got reminder for revision of paper yesterday, have just asked for an extension to after D(-ecapitation) Day.
9:32:00 PM

 
okay - starting to stress out with little more than a month to go till D(-eath, -oom, -isaster) Day. It's actually started to be the last thing I think of at night, and the first thing in the morning. Probably should've started this two months ago. Feeling kind of moody, but that might also be due to lack of exercise lately (this cold, etc.). Even blew off three parties this weekend due to these uncertain and unfamiliar stress-mood feelings (although one was only a friend-of-a-friend). Still made it to two birthday parties and a housewarming, plus that really cool secret underground party mentioned last entry. It actually turned out to be in the same warehouse space I went to one of my very first parties in, but back then, people were squatting in it so it had some amenities - lights etc., and now it's totally run down. The entry was from a different direction than we used to use, so I didn't realize till we got in that it was actually the same place. Down a long and very dark alley, up some narrow stairs, and you had to climb through a boarded up bit all in almost pitch blackness. Very dark and mysterious, dusty. But then you go down some other stairs and there's a big crowd of people and some strobes and coloured lights and the thumping bass. They had a generator for the decks and for lighting for the dance area. Maybe 200 or so people, who filled the space quite nicely, but leaving space around the edges in the darkness where small groups sat to watch the morass in the middle.
9:03:00 PM

 
bah. Feel kind of okay (yes, drugs), but know I should take it easy. But am supposed to go to a housemate's friend's 21st and a going away pub crawl after (Jim, going to join the London crew), plus there's a semi-secret party-rave-doof in town somewhere which I'd really like to check out. I should stay home and think healing thoughts, but am going out. Will probably regret it tomorrow (have another 2 birthday parties, plus a house warming, and Jim's also having a going away bbq in the arvo, but if I catch him tonight, I should probably do some work). Time for more drugs I think.
1:42:00 AM

 
And apropos of drugs and of yesterdays annoying news item - I saw an AD for it on tv last night! Touting how many millions of people have been helped by it! Egad.
10:15:00 PM

 
So I caved and took drugs this morning - pseudoephedrine, paracetamol, hydrochlorowhatsis, and who knows what else. Am feeling almost normal I think - apart from somewhat dry throat.
10:14:00 PM

 
ok. annoying news item for today: "Viagra link to 14 deaths":
FOURTEEN Australian men have died after using Viagra in the past three years, official figures reveal.

Sheesh. And like HOW many have died from, say, MDMA in like the past decade? like 2? Leah Betts and who? and not from MDMA itself, but from drinking too much water while on it. Hm. Actually, you'd think there'd have been at least one allergic reaction type death to MDMA. Anyway. 14 deaths, like wow. Plus 20 heart attacks. And 700 bad reactions. -ah- recreational drug use...

1:16:00 AM

 
Some of my friends were feeling a little under the weather last week and the week before. I think many of them are starting to recover, and I thought I'd managed to avoid it, but last night, within like three hours, my throat went from totally normal to impossible to swallow with. Am currently anaesthetising with lignocaine.
10:26:00 PM

 
Had a belated birthday dinner with my dad and grandmother last night. There was a downpour after Dad picked me up, which made the car trip more harrowing than usual. There was some skidding when taking off at traffic lights, and his tendency to drift toward the middle of the road seems to have extended to multilane streets.
2:39:00 AM